A few of you may have been wondering if I am dead - I am not. I have been trying to enjoy the time I have left doing things unrelated to this medium ... or any other medium, save for that which is organic in nature - dogs, food and green things with blooms.
I suspect as the seasons turn and I am once again confined indoors by the inclement, I'll return to agonizing over the seeming unnatural events and plots which befall us all these days. Until then, may I suggest you squeeze every bit of life out of your days as I do mine.
I learned the exact nature of my demise at a recent visit to the VA hospital. I was there to be fitted for a 'full-face' mask, as opposed to the 'low-profile' unit I have been using. Seems as though I was able to bypass that apparatus and thereby negate its benefit - the forced delivery of oxygen.
The new gizmo is very uncomfortable but performs as advertised. While being fitted, the VA nurse mentioned, not once, not twice, but three times that I should NEVER EVER cover the exhaust holes in the mask. She added that 'this is a sure way to die' and that many old vets simply 'tape the holes over'. It was offerred not so much as a caution as a hint.
Suffocating in your sleep has to be one of the least painful ways to die. Clawing and gasping for your last breath surely must rank as one of the more agonizing. I took the nurse's admonishment as it was intended - mercifully. I tried it out to make sure it works - it works just fine.
The classic symptoms of carbon monoxide poisoning came on nice and easy - hardly noticeable at all - no pain whatsoever. I hadn't counted on the after effects - massive headache and further diminished capacity - but those won't be in play next time - this was only a test. My timely and pain free demise is at my disposal! I daresay there are multitudes who only dream of such things.
Emmy Lou is fine. She has grown much and been through her first 'period'. I guess the most disturbing aspect of that was her looking longingly at me for her release - she had to settle for 'belly rubs'. I don't think she will get much bigger, but she is getting much more mature. She rarely, if ever, leaves my side - as my sister often says - 'she is a great companion dog'. Oh! And both ears stand up now. Together. At the same time, even.
Since we last talked, I have perfected a few things, chicken-fried steak, carne asada and grilling among them. Recipes will be posted if an interest is expressed in the comments below. As much as creativity besets me - it has been mostly confined to that realm and not hereon. The things I want to make on here require more attention than I am willing to give them as long as I can still go outside and enjoy real life.
I have also returned to reading - actually holding a book in my hands and reading. I came across an essay which prompted me to make this post. It concerns that very subject and should be read by all and all should be very afraid - on so many levels. It is here.
All things considered, my suspected demise notwithstanding, I am quite fine by any measure. All things are not thus so 'right with the World', are they? Another reason I have not been hereon. If ennui had a violent connotation, that would best describe my sentiments as regards 'the news' and what I find online. I am somewhere between 'so fucking mad I could kill somebody with my bare hands' and 'I just don't care anymore'.
It my sincerest hope that I live long enough to witness the next two national elections and the certain political/legal/social fallout from both - it is sure to be a grand circus with lots of monkeys of all shapes and sizes, great beasts defying description and more than plenty clowns.
Don't know if you can make it out, but that's Emmy. She had a good doggy day. Bobo and her cavorted from 6 AM until way past dark. She's having some 'issues' with just what is 'okay' to destroy/chew/dig and in her yard. When I find evidence of that - it is not a good doggy day. Today was great. We made BBQ. We worked on that whole go get that &*^%$#@ ball and at least entertain the notion of bringing it back and 'we' do NOT shit in the house ('we' not including resident bipeds and quadrupeds with hairballs). Oh! We also had a nice conversation about not speaking to/at strangers/stray dogs/pieces of crap blowing down the street at the top of your lungs. Shhhh. She is getting it! My sister took her out last night while I was asleep and told her to go 'pee'. Emmy ran right straight to that place where such things are done and did. Zoom. We all had BBQ'd chicken, fettucini alfredo and fresh corn on the cob. The dogs had roast beef and kibbles. So there. Sparky, his Dad and Grandma played 'baseball' in the yard. I watched. The dogs watched. I had to wonder what goes through their minds when humans do such things. I mean, I spend hours trying to get either dog to show any interest at all in 'ball' and they lay there watching people have so much fun ... playing ball.
That is Emmy Lou. She is Mattie's great grand niece and every bit and all Mattie's best. I am devoting my time to her right now so that I can understand her every thought ... and she mine. Plenty of news out there and I have lots to say about it, but just now, I got more important things to do. I should be back here in a day or two - until then I'll leave you with this sneak peek of my new puppy :]