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10/09/2007

IRS Pencil Sharpener - Deduct THIS!

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Comments

Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha.

Where do I get THAT pencil sharpener?

So, seriously, where do I get that pencil sharpener?

I've looked around the net, Steel, and can't find the item.

Can't you help out a girl?

I didn't think you were serious, but I thought about it.

It cannot possible function as the type of sharpener we think of, there is no place to hold the shavings and the space 'behind' is not large enough to hold the required pair of spiral cutter blades.. Plus it is not mounted to the pedestal 'in the rear', which leads me to think it is a 'piece' of art, rather than a functioning device.

That said, I could make it function, so maybe the thing DOES work.

I'll look around.

Now, it COULD be just a simple razor shaving sharpener with the vagina as the exit hole for the shavings - they would drop onto the pedestal. But there s NO way for that handle to actually make such a shaving sharpener work - again, not enough space in the pelvic region. The handle would just be for appearance. The actual turning would be done by twisting the pencil itself.

UNLESS, the razors were mounted into a hollow shaft which is attached to the handle - it would work then. But is sure would be messy - you'd have to pick the whole thing up and shake it into the garbage can each time it was used.

I'll see what I can find.

If nothing else, I could shove a No. 2 Ticonderoga up a headless Barbie doll's ass and glue the crank from a fishing reel on the neck.

Okay, the image was uploaded to jibjab on the 9th of this month by a 42 year old woman who despises George Bush and has more than one child. I put a comment there inquiring as to its functionality.

You can see that HERE.

It was posted to a forum by one 'docia' on 10/03/07 - HERE.

That's the earliest mention that I found.

Plenty of 'cat butt' sharpeners, but they use no crank.

You can keep an eye on the comments at jibjab to see if the person actually knows whether it's real.

My guess? It's not.

Only the one same single image has made the rounds and that suggests a one-off piece of art OR a photoshop. If it did work it would be flimsy and messy. It looks like some design student's class project to me.

BUT, it could be fashioned to actually work - I don't have the tools.

It would require a small drill press, a block of resin, a small grinder and some assorted files, more ability at sculpture than I possess, a hollow shaft just larger than the diameter of a pencil, a suitable pedestal, a hand held drill, some stainess screws, epoxy, brazing rod, torch, 3/32nds x 6 tap and die, metal cutting blade for the slots in the shaft and the cutting razors from a cheap school pencil sharpener.

Sooo ... if you know someone who is handy and has those tools and wants to be come a millionaire - show them this email.

OK, I must find this as a gift for someone. Any idea where I can find it ?

James ...

I've looked everywhere and nowhere have I found evidence it is anymore than a piece of art or class project.

Sorry.

I think you should patent the design, then sell the rights for production.

I'm like the rest of you - I wanted to buy it and mail it wrapped in christmas paper to my friends at the IRS. Even if it doesn't function, who cares?

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