Women and Guns

  A very long time ago, I lived in the mountains. Way up @ 7000’ in Idaho.

.  I lived there with my first wife. In a cabin. Water came from a diverted creek. You had to walk up the last 4 miles of my ‘driveway’. An old mining camp. I was the ‘caretaker’ and she was the cook.

.  The cabin we slept in was also the kitchen/larder/main cabin. The walls were made of ‘first cut’ slabs from timbers used in the hard rock mine.

.  It was a great existence for a returning ‘Nam Vet/newly married guy like me. Quiet. Serene. Hippy heaven.

.  Now, one night a rat got into the larder. A larder is a room where where you keep the vittles. THIS room had 2 layers of 1st cuts, soes to keep in the cool and was on the other side of our bedroom wall.

.  This was a mountain rat. Not your slinky little wharf rat. No, this critter was big enough to push things off of shelves so they’d break and then eat the spoils.

.  The first night it got in ... it sounded like Tarzan and who knows how many apes had moved next door. BAM!  BOOM!  CRASH! all night long.

.  Knockin’ stuff over to feast.

.  The second night ... well we HAD to do something. ‘We’ being me, the man of the house. The noise and disturbance would not allow sleep. BAM!  BOOM!  CRASH!

.  Soooo ... I got up and pulled my trusty revolver and a flashlight out and went to the larder.

.  Now, my ‘revolver’ was a Ruger 22 single action pistol. At close range ... okay. And this WAS ‘close range’.

.  I openened the larder door and snuck the light in and couldn’t see the critter. As I scanned ... up on a shelf, just about eye level were two VERY RED beady eyes just lookin’ back at me.

.  2 feet from my face. Just lookin’ at me. With about as menacing a look as can be imagined.

.  I shot. I saw the bullet crease that bastard’s hair across his back.

.  Now, you’d think that’d make a rat ... turn tail and run. You’d be wrong. This was a mountain rat. Had no fear of humans. And he took steps towards ME.

.  I slammed the larder door.

.  Went back to bed and my wife said ‘Did ya get ‘em’?

.  I related what had happened.  And the BAM!  BOOM!  CRASH! started up again.

.  She ripped the covers off her and said ... ‘ Let me try’.

.  And so she went with the pistol and the flashlight into the larder.

.

   The next thing I hear is BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! 'I GOT HIM!!!  I GOT HIM!!!'

   Sure enough, I got up and looked ... there was rat splattered all over the walls. There was rat splattered all over the floor. That poor rat didn't stand a chance.

   Now let that be a lesson for all you guys.

   Don't be a rat.

   And if you ARE going to be rat ... don't leave firearms around.

Comments

[mdmhvonpa]

Man, I hope you parted the best of ways with her ... she sounds like a woman you don't mess with!

[oldcatman]

Cool!

I had a Ruger .22 with a 10 inch barrel....nice pistol.

Steel, did she also take care of spiders for you too?

Do you ever miss that life style?

[RadioActive Chief]

Nice story. My brother, formerly a cop in a town on the edge of the MO Ozarks always said NEVER teach a woman to shoot a gun - he said he saw too many cases of bad things happening in conjuction with monthly events.

I don't endorse that policy, but that gal certainly showed her capabilities. This is a perfect testimonial to the validity of Kipling's FEMALE OF THE SPECIES, available here.

Read and heed - ignore this at your peril, guys!

[Steel]

OCM ... yes and no.

RAC ... it all began when they started wearing shoes.

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